A Word About Bill Cosby (but mostly words about rape culture)

Before we begin with the subject at hand, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of Bill Cosby. I’m not okay with a bunch of the racist stuff that he’s said

It took a lot of willpower to not use a rude meme here.

It took a lot of willpower to not use a rude meme here.

over the years that completely ignores systemic, institutionalized racism and blames black culture for inequality.  I’m especially not okay with the way his quotes are used by racist white people; as if by quoting a racist black person to make judgments about black people, it makes them NOT racist. It doesn’t work like that!

ANYWAY. My biggest issue with this whole Cosby rape scandal is seeing people ask  ignorant questions/make ignorant comments about the women accusing Cosby of rape. So I’d like to clear some of that up 🙂

*Well, he’s a celebrity, isn’t he an easy target?

To start, it isn’t easy to publicly accuse someone of rape, regardless of their status. Women are constantly questioned when they’re raped; well what were you wearing? Were you drinking? Were you flirting? Are you sure you didn’t lead him on? If it goes to trial, a woman’s entire sex life/history is put on trial.  This is true regardless if the perpetrator is a celebrity or not. When it IS a celebrity, the negative attention and microscope on a woman’s life is infinitely worse.

*Aren’t these women just making this stuff up to get attention?

Yes. Because every woman would love to be known for this.  No. Just, no.

*I mean, that guy that wrote a book about Cosby didn’t include these accusations because he felt there wasn’t enough evidence. So doesn’t that mean they don’t really have any clout?

With rape, especially with drugs like the ones that took place here, the crime scene is a woman’s body. A lot of women might not know now, and there was DEFINITELY less awareness in the 80’s and 90’s about what to do when you wake up from something like that. They don’t know that they shouldn’t shower, change, go to the bathroom. The second they do any of those things, all evidence is completely lost. Also, since they were incoherent or passed out when a lot of the crime took place, they don’t make a good witness. So yeah, that doesn’t really mean anything.

*If he really raped them, why is it taking so long for these women to come out?

Well, kind of like I said above, it can be very hard to do that if you feel no one will possibly believe you. Once one person speaks their truth, it makes it easier for others. I think at last count 14 women have now come out voicing their personal stories of being drugged, touched and raped. It makes perfect sense that they’d have similar stories, and that since some accusations are gaining more traction more women would feel comfortable enough adding their names to the list.

* I mean, all of their stories kind of sound the same. They probably made it up and are copying each other.

Ughhhh. See, the thing about rapists is, they figure out an MO, and they KEEP doing it until they get caught. Of COURSE the stories would be VERY similar.

So yes, I needed to get that out. Telling anyone you’ve been raped takes fucking guts. Telling people on national television when you know you might (but most likely will) get publicly eviscerated takes a LOT of guts. The statute of limitations is long gone, Cosby won’t ever serve time for his crimes, like most rapists. Enough women (1 in 4) are raped in their lifetimes, and many never want to share their stories because of the way victims are treated. When women are brave enough to share these stories we need to believe them, or at least stop asking tired, awful questions.