Tagged as consent, dean saxton rape, sexual violence,
April 25, 2013
So, this Dean Saxton fellow is great
Hmm. Other titles I considered for this entry included:
* “Hey fellas, here’s one way to ensure you never have sex”
* “hoochy bodicon dress ≠ asking for rape”
* “Check out this motherfucker.”
Guess which one was my favorite. Alright, so today I read about this asshat, Dean
Saxton, a student at UA and self-proclaimed “street preacher” who decided to protest a sexual violence awareness event. He even came along with props.
Someone made a video about this character, and at this moment I only got to 1.48 of it before he said “women are partially responsible” for their rapes and, you know, that is pretty much the part where my head explodes. It’s been a stressful week, a ten hour work day, and I get up at five tomorrow. Perhaps after a really good work out, some yoga, some relaxing tea I can watch the rest of what this person said without wanting to cry or break something, but not right now.
So why am I writing about this? Why am I pissed? Why should men in particular be pissed?
I can recognize, and take comfort in the fact that this jerk is an outlier. He sucks. He doesn’t represent most people, and in fact I’m certain most people would openly disagree with his sentiments. He was very clearly raised to hate women, and to judge them by what takes place between their legs, not in their minds or their hearts. Any man (and WOW am I using that word loosely) that judges a woman by what she does or does not do with her body sexually is missing out on a lot. Anyone who thinks women who dress a certain way are asking for rape is a fucking idiot. No, but really, the research out there finds no correlation between rape and what a woman was wearing.
Whatever. Pretty much why I’m writing about him is why I write about any of this. As one of my favorite Say Anything songs says, “people like you are why people like me exist.” Because while this kid is an outlier, he’s essentially an extreme manifestation of our rape culture. Our culture that tells us blaming women for their assault is okay. That tells women not to get raped, rather than men not to rape, and that women are in fact enablers to their own assault, in a variety of factors. And you know, I’m not really down with that shit.
The big thing though, as far as the myth that women’s clothing supposedly increases their chances of rape hinges on one very large assumption about men: In order to believe that, you must also believe that men are pretty much animals, and simply can’t help themselves if they see a woman in revealing clothing. And again, I’m trying to picture how this plays out. Just how tight do my clothes have to be before a guy can’t comprehend the word “no?” How much leg or cleavage are we talking before a man simply CAN’T stop his urges to rip my clothes off, and force sex on me?
I’m hoping you can recognize how silly that is! Men are human beings, with brains, fully capable of comprehension. They do not suddenly turn into animals the second they see skin. It makes no sense. Don’t guys deserve more credit than this?
Also, this doesn’t really jive with the fact that most rape isn’t by someone random. Sadly, a girl is more likely to be raped wearing sweats in her dorm, by someone she knows than by a random, apparently sex-crazed stranger who can’t HELP himself because she’s wearing a mini-skirt. About 75% of rapes happen between people who know each other.
Of course, I suppose it’s good when idiots like this pop up, because it creates opportunities for teachable moments. When someone as cray as Saxton says this stuff, it offers us chances to knock down his illogical points, one by one. It is also a constant reminder over the privilege some jerk guys (who are NOT representative of most men) feel when they try to bully themselves into spaces women create to reassert their power after sexual violence.
Wow. Alright well I need sleep, right now. Bottom line; this guy is of course insulting women by saying we deserve to get raped, but he’s insulting and demeaning men even more for suggesting they simply can’t help but rape. Not cool, bro. Not cool.