Tagged as feminism, infidelity sandra bullock, tiger woods,
April 16, 2010
Stop pointing fingers, you both suck.
I write this today after just reading this article about Bombshell McGee. Mainly this quote:
“I’m not a homewrecker,” McGee told E! News. “I did not break up their marriage. I thought I was dating a separated man. … I don’t believe I destroyed their marriage. Jesse destroyed their marriage. My message to Jesse would be, ‘Jesse, if you just were honest to me in the beginning, if you were up-front, we wouldn’t be in this position.'”
Alright, I think the woman has a point. How about we believe her for a moment when she claims she was told he was separated. It is his fault, not hers. I often hear people make claims that while in the wrong, how can we blame these cheating men for banging these skanky, scantily clad women who were CLEARLY all over these poor guys.
This, I must tell you, is fucking stupid. For one, it is a massive insult to men to act as if they are just stupid creatures who have no self control and that any sense of morality is thrown out the door when they see a pair of boobs.
Secondly, I do understand that attraction happens. Just because one is in a monogamous relationship doesn’t mean we are suddenly blind to anyone else that tickles our sexual or intellectual fancy. It does mean that you have a responsibility to not act on that attraction. If you feel the need to do that, be open with your partner, as difficult as that seems, because you will be saving them from the world of pain infidelity causes.
Oh yes. And point three. If you are going to be a total jerk and cheat, at least use a CONDOM.
Moving right along. When it comes to the whole Tiger Woods situation ( I know, beating a dead horse, but at least this is a common reference!) I want to talk about how the women are just as at fault as the men.
I’ve been cheated on before. Most of us have, and obviously, it sucks. While it is necessary to trust that your partner won’t cheat on you, I would love a world where we as women respect each other enough that we don’t get involved with taken men.
The defense of several of those women was that their relationship with Woods wasn’t just sexual but that they also had a romantic relationship. He wasn’t really in love with his wife, he was going to leave her for them, etc. They were deceived! Pretend that Tiger really wasn’t happy with his wife. If that were the case he should have had enough respect for his wife to divorce her so that they could each have a chance of being happy with someone else. Most likely, he was just lying. Either way, they knew he was married.
In situations where a man has approached me like this; “I’m so miserable with her,” or “I wish I was with you instead”, or anything like that I usually tell them to go to hell. If they were that miserable they wouldn’t continue to subject themselves to that situation, and if you are still with that woman, you have NO business talking to me about “us”.
No man is worth two women fighting over. I love men, but the fact that it makes some women so divisive is disgusting to me. This is a woman’s issue, I am not faulting men for this. I truly think we should look out for each other as women. All of those women knew he was a married man and they pursued something anyway. If they hadn’t engaged with him out of respect for themselves and his wife as another woman, none of that would have happened.
I need to head out, but one quick note. As for McGee, while she had every right in the world to be angry that Jesse James lied, she obviously handled the situation terribly.
This happened to me. I was hanging out with a man who I thought was single, only to find out he had a girlfriend. It was hard, but I approached her, told her everything, we compared notes, and agreed that he was an awful person. Instead of me embarrassing her or her hating me for being the accomplice to this man’s infidelity, we talked it out honestly and ultimately bonded over our experience with the jerk. Once we were together laughing about that man’s douchebaggery over a cup of coffee. The man in question walked into the restaurant and saw us together and he practically tripped over himself. I wish Sandy and Bombshell could have had a similar experience!